RMLApril 12

“Single” (“Soltero”) means bachelor as well as one who lives in an open union. Some say that girls marry between sixteen and twenty, boys between twenty and twenty-five, but others say that a girl [marries] between thirteen and eighteen and a boy between sixteen and twenty.

Melchor García

Twelve years old is too young for a girl to get married. Once in a while the boy is from another village. If that is so, he takes the girl with him.

Silvestre CuevasApril 13

Matchmakers (literally “ambassadors for the proposal”) charge five pesos for the first visit, ten for the second, and fifteen for the third. The price increases because the possibility for a satisfactory conclusion increases. The matchmakers visit either Saturday or Sunday every week. The father of the girl says no the first visit if he is not interested. If he is interested, he tells the matchmaker to return in a week.

Camilo Jiménez

When a boy looks for a girl to marry, he first considers if “if she will be a good worker" (“ella sea una buena trabajadora”). Beauty is unimportant. The same [is the case] with the man. Nor does it matter if he is rich. What is important is whether he would be a good worker.

Plácido Cecilio

If one wants to marry one has to go to Soyaltepec. One must pay ten pesos to the witness. [This is presumably a civil marriage.]

Arcadio ServínApril 14

Federico Hilario lives with a woman and her two daughters—the three serve as wives.

Silvestre Cuevas

An exchange of boys and girls (sweethearts) between families: Jesús Florentino gives his daughter, Nimfa, to Geraro Lázaro. Geraro gives his daughter, Isabel, to the brother of Jésus, Ignacio Florentino. Nimfa is the godmother of Isabel.

Leonardo Ronquillo and family (1958)

Camilo JiménezApril 15

The parents of the girl are concerned that the boy be “respectful” (“respetuoso.”). They consult her, but if she refuses the parents oblige her to marry, telling her that she only wants to run around, only wants to stay free to loaf, that she is their daughter and not [the daughter] of other people, and for this reason she should obey them. After the agreement the father of the girl speaks with the boy and the father of the boy speaks with the girl. The two families get together to consult. The family of the girl determines the date. They do not put off the date much because if one dies the girl would be left alone.

Thursday—The family of the boy gathers the presents.

Friday—They distribute presents to both the baptismal godmother and godfather and to the godmother and godfather of the wedding. They also give [presents] to the girl.

Saturday—At four or five in the afternoon (or three if the girl lives far away) the boy and the matchmaker leave home to go, with clothing and animals, to the house of the girl. The matchmaker sees that the boy arrives and later returns to the house of the boy to tell his parents that all is going well. The father of the girl divides the animals amongst the family members, uncles, etc. If the boy does not comply with these requirements, a disagreement follows and sometimes the wedding is cancelled. The matchmaker verifies ahead of time how many members of the family of the girl are going to attend the wedding to know how much food to bring—this is done in the last visit or later.

The godmother dresses the bride.

Silvestre Cuevas, Melchor GarcíaApril 15

If abstinence is violated, one of the pair will die—depending on whether given a short life or a long life. For the four days the girl sleeps beside her mother-in-law, apart from her husband. Later the pair stays two or three days in the house of the girl.

In the time between the day they decided to marry and the marriage day—in general four to five weeks—the mother-in-law of the girl brings her a cleaned hen wrapped in a new colored, kerchief and placed in a dish. A ticundul is brought with a mixture of the crushed shell of the jonot and soap rendered from leaves (shkandahunh). Oil of zapote, bread, and soap are brought. If the mother-in-law does not comply, the girl believes there is no security in the marriage.

On Saturday evening the girl bathes alone.

Leonardo RonquilloApril 16

Weddings between people of San Martín and Ixcatlán are not rare. There are few with the people of Soyaltepec. In Piedra de Amolar there is a young man who married an Ojiteca. He speaks Ojiteco well.

Ojitlán

Silvestre Cuevas, Melchor GarcíaApril 17

The matchmaker counsels the girl after the wedding—not more than once.

If the pair only got married in church, the father must not have sex for four days.

Silvestre CuevasApril 24

When marrying a widow, they just get together without a fiesta.

Silvestre CuevasApril 28

When a young man and woman simply live together there is no godfather.

If a young man rapes a girl, the police (agente municipal) force him to marry her. He cannot simply offer money to the father of the girl—the father would refuse it.

~April 29

When choosing a girlfriend, Silvestre wanted a girl who gets up early, goes to the fields, and obeys. It does not matter if she is ugly. If she is beautiful there is a big possibility that she will abandon him. But there are some men who consider beauty first.

Facunda Zacarías, second wife of Silvestre (1958)

Camilo JiménezMay 2

There are some people who do not want a civil ceremony because if the man mistreats his wife, he is subject to sanctions, and she is obliged to stay with him even though he has mistreated her. If a young man has no money and wants to get together with a girl, it frequently happens that, in exchange for the work of the young man, the father of the girl invites him to live in his house, gives him money, and so forth. Other parents send their daughter to the young man despite being poor, especially if the young girl has sisters still living at home -- they send her to avoid potential incidents.

Ruperto JiménezMay 3

Boys don’t fixate on the beauty of the young girl. If she is beautiful, she does not tend to be a worker. For example she will refuse to bring dinner to the field because she fears that the sun will give her “a spot” (“la mancha”). (In this case, “la mancha” just refers to the darkening of the skin caused by the sun.) She would like to remain as light-skinned as possible.