Silvestre CuevasApril 13

Silvestre, crying, told us that he was very content with his wife, that she had learned a great deal, that she knew how he liked his food, etc. [His wife had died just as RML arrived in the village.] Silvestre’s uncle, Ambrosio Lázaro, lives with his second wife, who is an orphan—his first wife left him

“Women are very strong.” (“Las mujeres son muy bravas.”) “How we men suffer! (“¡Cómo sufrimos los hombres!”)

Camilo Jiménez

There are variations in marital relations: some men never hit their wives, while others do-- with a little stick. The usual cause is jealousy-- one of the couple seeing another person. Sometimes there are fights over money. Women fight with their husbands, but being women and weaker, they never win. When they want to, women can be “assertive” (“bravas”). If there is a big fight the authorities intervene and, if it is proved that the man is responsible, he has to pay a fine or do forced labor. If the woman is to blame she is sent to prison in Tuxtepec, or if the offence is not serious, she is sent to the house of a responsible person for two to three days. She is supposed to stay in the house the whole time.

~April 15

If the young girl does not take care of her husband he can return her to the house of her parents. Sometimes he will claim the money spent on the wedding, but most people don’t want to start trouble.

Silvestre CuevasApril 24

Failed marriages are usually caused by jealousy. The husband discovers that his wife has another man, or visa versa. Ambrosio’s first wife was unfaithful, and his son told him the truth. Ambrosio bribed his son with sugar cane so that he wouldn’t tell his mother that he, Ambrosio, knew all. Later Ambrosio found another wife and brought her home. In this way his first wife understood and fled to her lover.

~April 26

Silvestre’s brother was married a month without sleeping with his wife. She refused to the point where he went to see a shaman. The shaman told him to put a cross of tobacco powder on the chest of his wife and mount her. Now he has three children.

Ambrosio JiménezApril 27

Pablino Antonio has thirteen children.

Silvestre CuevasApril 28

A wife is “our mother” (“nuestra madre”). For this reason when she asks for a new huipil, her husband is obligated to give it to her. The woman who does not want to have children just wants to “run around” (“pasear”).

~April 29

When Carmen accused Silvestre of going out with another woman, according to Silvestre a false accusation, he whipped her three or four times on her back with a stick, and then sent her home to her parents. She said that, although he hit her, she would never leave him. After that she was no longer jealous.

Ruperto JiménezApril 25

When one marries a widow, the young man gives the family two or three loads of wood, or 400 ears of corn. Sometimes an emissary is sent. Sometimes the young man simply invites a young girl to dance with him. As they dance, they arrange everything by talking together. There are few eligible girls in San Martín now. There are many beautiful girls in Piedra de Amolar, but in any case there are few young men to marry them. There are even fewer young men to marry the girls in Arroyo Tigre.

In Arroyo Tigre marriage is like in Soyaltepec – there is a Friday dance in the house of the young man, and a Saturday dinner in the house of the young woman. The family of the young woman is not given firewood or any other presents. The next day the young man “wakes up to find only the young girl at his side” (“se despierta para encontrar solo la muchacha a su lado”). Ruperto expressed scorn for such weddings. “No big deal” (“No es cosa grande”).

Never and nowhere is there abstinence for four days following a wedding.

Flavio SarmientoMay 6

When young girls marry they are hardly ever afraid of their husband. There are a few that cry the first night. The women of a house never fight. The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law always live in peace.

~May 7

A young man has the opportunity to see if a young girl is a good worker when he attends a wake.

RMLMay 10

Two days after the [proscribed*] 27 days, Silvestre Cuevas married Facunda Zacarías, a widow and a neighbor with a nine-year-old daughter. He spoke with Facunda at the well five days before the 27 days, and she accepted him. The following day he spoke with her father, and he accepted him as well. He (Silvestre), who has neither house nor family, is going to live in the house of his father-in-law, who has no one else to take care of him except Facunda. [* Twenty-seven days must elapse before a widower may remarry.]